Online Dating

Can online dating work for shy people?

Dating might be made easier with the help of the internet, but that doesn’t mean we are all comfortable with it.  The truth is that some people get very shaky as soon as they approach the concept. Some of us just get really nervous and anxious, something which is not always easy to live with, especially when it comes to dating. You see dating should make you happy, it should be fun but there are a lot of people to whom it is simply too complicated and too much to deal with. So here is a bit of explanation of how dating sites work, and how to deal with them when you are shy.

Shy and looking for love

Love is an absolute nerve-wrecker, that’s just a fact. There is so much pressure to do well around the subject, and so many messages floating around us about how we should deal with it that it just becomes a mind field.So here is a good thing to do: forget about what everyone else says you should do. Forget about the movies, TV shows and celebrity magazines; those are just fictions and things put together for entertainment. Forget the adverts that tell you that you should buy the best things and expensive jewellery to express your love; it’s a load of rubbish. Love is more about caring, just in the way you care for your friends and family. It is a very simple emotion, not to be confused with desire or infatuation.

What, did you say infatuation? What is this?

Infatuation is when someone grown on you, in fact it can happen straight away when you see someone for the first time. This is also known as ‘love at first sight’, but it is not love. Rather it is a reaction of amazement, but this will also fade out quickly over time. Love on the other side only grows over time, but it is a slow process, it doesn’t happen overnight.

What about desire?

Desire and lust can be thrown into the same category, they are mostly about the desires of the flesh. You know… wanting to have sex. If you are a shy person, the idea of sex is often a great point of anxiety. Will you perform well? Will the person mock you because you’re not doing well? Those are a lot of questions that can get stuck into your head and can stop you from even trying. The best thing to do is to think about something else, redirect your thoughts to something pleasant. In reality it doesn’t actually take much to be reasonable in bed, and we have all got to start somewhere. Maybe try to use and NSA sex site (No Strings Attached) and meet people there. At least you won’t need to impress them too much, they just want sex not a husband or a wife. And people who use those sites are generally quite friendly. If anything you get to practice meeting people and you also get to practice sex. That way eventually you might feel confident enough to try to date someone on a longer term. You accumulated experience will have dissipated some of you anxiety, so you don’t have to always worry about whether your partner is happy in the bedroom department. Because ultimately, you don’t need to be shy to be bedroom paranoid, a lot of the most confident people are. That’s the point to it all: you will meet people who are as shy as you are, enough for you to discover that most people are actually quite shy when it comes to dating, it’s the norm not the exception.

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