Dating

Why is dominating even a thing?

It does sound odd doesn’t it, how some people enjoy having someone dominating them. Being attached, playing the role of a slave and being talked down too doesn’t sound like most people’s cup of tea. It’s probably easier to understand why some people will want to dominate with all the power trip that might bring but still, even that sounds pretty intense. So what is it about the whole dominating thing that gets people’s juices flowing? Let’s check it out shall we…

The dominator

Starting with what is easier to understand, let’s look at why people enjoying dominating others. Who would do that, and why should they enjoy it? After all it kind of sounds cruel; why would you want to hurt others? Well here is the first thing: it is not just the case of hurting people and disrespecting them, there is actually a lot of stuff happening in the background to make sure everyone is safe. You don’t just meet people you don’t know, get given a whip and hit them as hard as possible, nope that would be dangerous. Instead you sit down and spend a long time in preparing things. You talk to that person, you ask them what they want you to do to them, how hard can you go, how long it should last… every detail is taken care off. You establish a safe word that your partner could say when they want you to stop; because ‘stop’ could well be part of the roleplay you are having.

But organising everything doesn’t make it less weird? Well it does actually, because then it becomes more of an act where care actually takes part of the equation. Of course it can still sound strange that someone will want to dominate someone else, but think about it; if you get told what to do at work all day long, getting bossed around; then maybe you might want to take the upper hand for a while. Dominating is a great way to feel in control, and that is why people like to dominate.

The Dominated

Using an inverted logic, it is therefore easy enough to understand why someone wants to be dominated. Maybe that person spends all their days telling people what to do. Company bosses, Chief Executive Officers… you name it, maybe they want someone to take charge for once. It’s mad right? But people need some down-time, and being dominated and relinquishing control can provide that pleasure to certain types of people. As long as everything is set up and the things needed to be covered are, then being dominated can be very much an act of trust towards the person dominating you.

So should you try it yourself? Maybe now that you’ve read a bit of info about it (watching ‘50 Shades of Grey’ doesn’t count…), you might consider giving it a go. If you do, it’s probably best that you start by meeting people who are into it, maybe check online dating sites like my BDSM Hookups and try to meet new people who can introduce you to the scene. Take it slow, make sure you get all the facts, prepare yourself well and start on your new adventures will all things BDSM!

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