Romance & Sex

Engaging the opposite sex online – the do’s and don’ts communicating on hookup sites

Pondering what women and men in today’s world want has never been easier, and at the same time true feelings are cloaked behind mojis and quick messages. Many of us who date online hear from the opposite sex, “what are you looking for?” If you are the type who reads up on sex blogs, dating blogs and other adult dating sites, it is safe to assume that you know how to avoid the traps of dating online.

Navigating the world of hookup sites or successfully finding a free hookup app, can be a tall task and really quite tricky. What short message can you send that sounds sweet, sincere and smart. Not creepy. How can you approach someone you’ve never met before with an authentic well thought out message? Let’s take a look at some scenarios.

Have a read through some of the more well known scenarios and situations that people come across online.

Scenario 1 : “A woman winked at me and then I followed up with a message saying, “you’re cute.” One thing to consider is having a quick look at their account to see how active they are and how many friends or connections they have. If they seem real, and legit, go ahead and respond back with something to the likes of, “Thank you for your sweet comment.” Or, “I have been working on my cuteness for many years.”

Scenario 2: Let’s say you find an attractive man or woman and you want to engage them in a conversation, what is the best way to initiate this? One of the common way to start a conversation is to simply greet them with, “hi” or if the site is less formal and more for casual dating you can easily say, “what’s up.” Either way you will be showing that you are relaxed and confident in your vagueness to strike a conversation. If you don’t get a response after a few hours, and those hours end up turning into days, feel free to send another message (sometimes people are away or your message may have been missed). In the follow up message be more direct and specific in your interests. Saying something along the lines of, “I wanted to quickly say hi again and see what your interests were here on this {name} site.” If days go by without a response the time has come to end your efforts with this one and move on.

Scenario 3: Don’t be too shy when you join a dating, or a hookup site, people are on these sites to meet, hookup and have sex. There is no point in joining, paying and filling out your profile if you are not going to take advantage of the thousands of people who have joined for casual sex. When you begin to get messages from men and women in your local area, don’t discredit it as a commercial or a solicitation, there are genuine people who are interested in you. Just make sure you are checking their profiles, looking at their pictures and reading their interests. If it all checks out, go on and engage them.

Scenario 4: You paid for the three month membership to a dating site, or better yet to a hookup site like and you have gotten little interest on your profile. One thing to do immediately is review your words for spelling errors, or typos. This is a huge turnoff and will signal that you are careless and without attention to detail – two big no nos for women. After checking your profile you see that you have only 3 photos. Again, a big turnoff for both men and women. Add pics, add writing, add yourself. People want to read about you. What may be boring to you is really interesting to someone else. Go for it and let the words fly, the more quirky and clever you are the better your results will be.

Final Thoughts

Dating and hooking up online is how people connect, there is no avoiding it today. Get your game on and get savvy. Be the one who initiates the conversation, but don’t be overly aggressive. Be attuned to when you are getting genuine interest from someone and understand that there are solicitations out there that are not sincerely interested in you per se.

There are thousands of sites available so take the time to read though their offerings and who they are catering to and where their network is strongest. Make sure you are using a site that has a good app and that honors its subscribers. Without a doubt dating online is fun. Get into it and get results. Even if you don’t find a paid or free hookup app that suits your exact needs you can still enjoy browsing through thousands of profiles each day just by joining, and not paying.

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